spotlight.
i'm fickle. beyond fickle.
i constantly think i'm in love with people.
but then after a day or two, a week or two, however long..i realize i'm not even close.
i generally am interested in several people at a time.
i'm a flirt.
i'm a liar. a really good one.
i lie because my honesty could kill.
i'm really sort of distant, in that i never talk about how i feel with people.
i cant fully be myself around any one person.
people like me.
i'm not entirely sure why, but they do.
i'm not the kind of person who has any enemies.
i'm caustic.
i have a boyfriend, which is a common occurence.
even more common is the fact that i'm in love with someone who isnt him.
scratch that. i just broke up with him. i'm too capricious.
i really love to talk about myself.
thankfully, its my diary so i can do whatever the hell i want with it.
even though i think people actually like it better when i talk about myself. but anyway.
i'm arrogant.
i seem stoic, so i tend to be socially graceful.
i'm always relaxed & calm.
& if i'm not, its internal.
looking at me, you'd never know that i'm being choked by emotion.
but then theres always some jerk that makes you act differently.
i've developed nervous habits.
the other day, i was so uneasy that i was twirling my pen, & it shot across the room.
my suaveness amazes me.
so this guy, other, whatever.
he's an immature but insightful twenty-nine year old buddhist indie/emo-rocker with an insanely good band who likes the simpsons & conan o'brien.
lets all say it together; trouble