please dont misunderstand me. i want love. i want tangible, unbelievable, better than the stories love.

i want to be crazy about someone. i want them to be crazy about me.

i want physical contact. i want intimacy.

i want it but maybe i'm not capable of it. because maybe i'll always be the girl whos moving on.

i look at people & wonder why they dont just let go, but i guess i'd feel differently if i had anything to hold on to.

if there were anything worth keeping i think i'd try. wouldnt i? would i? or would it bore me..can consistancy be entertaining?

people tell me that i have this one relationship with every guy because i'm dating the wrong ones. but how could so many people be so wrong for me? i'm everyones soulmate but no one is ever enough.

this person i've loved for what seems like forever wants me to go to his college & all i want to do is run a thousand miles in the other direction. but i want him more than ever. if something starts making sense, please let me know.

waiting. i've been waiting my whole life. this is a recent development in most people, but i'm always waiting for things that might not be coming. waiting doesnt mean i dont occupy my time. most people wait & do nothing but stare. does that make me wiser, or do things really mean so little to me that i cant focus my full attention?

why is it the things you desperately want & need to happen take their time or dont come at all, but the things you want to keep change in a matter of seconds?

i really do rely on you too much. i cant function without you & i hate it. i hate the way i depend on you. the way i need to tell you about my day to feel alright. it shouldnt be like that, but its gone in the morning, anyway, so what do i care?

i hate when i write things that only sound good with straylight run on in the background.

before & after